Now that George Michael appears to have all but finished his career by
trying to be Bono, rubbishing ‘pop’ bands and hanging out with Geri
Halliwell (the celebrity leper), there’s surely a gap in the market for this. Bernie produces grown-up pop music, which although it should be a
contradiction in terms, is actually really popular and largely due to Mr
Michael and his string of ‘serious’ pop hits. You know the style - it’s
slinky faux-soulful pop that is played in the allegedly ‘posh’ meat market nightclubs, which are recognisable as posh mainly by the drinks being slightly more extortionate than usual.
This CD starts off with probably the best track - ‘Jump In And Out Of My Love’ - and it sets the tone for most of the album which continues in a slow-dance disco kind of way. There is a bit of variety, with some ill-advised twiddly guitar on a couple of the tracks and although clearly an attempt to provide a bit more funk, it sounds too jarring and harsh in the context of his voice and melodies. The real quality tracks are the smooth / cheesy ones, but at least the others show a bit of eclecticism, and break the CD up a bit.
The last two tracks up the cheddar factor, with the type of disposable pop that boy bands regularly take to the top of the charts. Track 8 ’Memories of You’ in particular - it’s easy to imagine this being sung by a Westlife on Top of the Pops. Of course he’s probably more interested in making these hits himself, particularly as some of them are obviously quite personal (‘Set Me Free’ is dedicated to his parents). But sell them to one of the big players and he could make a fortune as the songwriter.
Overall he’s got some good little pop songs here, but he does need to lighten it up a bit in places. Even if the subject matter is serious and sad (wounded inner children and the like), he should perhaps approach every song as a potential Christmas number one - get some more sparkly and shimmery bits in so people can happily sing along as they sway unsteadily around their office party. George Michael’s piousness has been one of the reasons for his downfall, so please take note and give us a smile.
Sarah, 'Spitting Glass Stars'
